Would you like to become as light as a feather?
I would. And I am inviting you to come along with me.
Dear Reader
Are you ready for my new project? Before I reveal it, we need to go back in time to where it all began.
“What is the meaning of this?” I pondered, as the jarring sound of the alarm rudely disrupted my sleep on my 28th birthday. I sighed, rolled my eyes and did what I knew best. I bought more stuff. In my mind, I had cracked it. Buying and consuming more was my solution for everything. This time it was a Buddhism series on my Kindle.
And to add insult to injury, guess how I was going to celebrate my birthday? By travelling to the Essex countryside to attend the wedding reception of my then boyfriend’s colleague whom I had never met. Being in a room with a group of strangers who worked in Banking was just what I needed when I was feeling my most vulnerable. But I did what I knew best. I swallowed my pride, put on my game face and got on with it, like I always did. Hey, I even danced to ‘nacho cheese’ pop music.
Why was this day such a big deal for me? That fateful day was the catalyst that set the wheels in motion for my future. My life when I lived and worked in London, England, was laughable. I had become someone I didn’t recognise. As a person who has always struggled with change, I have now accomplished what I thought I could never do. To do this, I broke the rules – mine and society’s – that were holding me back.
But Jenny, did those books help? Learning about Buddhism was going to fix the quarter-life crisis I went through before I turned 30, or so I thought. In some ways it did what I needed it to. It opened my mind to a novel way of thinking that I liked. But the truth was that the gap between where I was at that time in my life and the peace that I was desperately longing for was too wide. I was stuck in my head and in my environment, and I was miserable.
I started my Minimalism journey when I was about to become a mother. As I went through the process, my world became brighter and lighter. I want to keep the wheels in motion.
How does this involve Substack? I’ll be honest, putting myself out there still makes me want to run a mile in the other direction and hide. Then, there is the headache of not knowing if anyone will read what I have written, but it’s a risk I am willing to take. Why? Because it’s a wonderful opportunity to be around and to communicate with other interesting and supportive people as well as to learn more about myself as a person and a writer. Until now, through my own fears, doubts and time limitations, I have barely scratched the surface of what can be done on Substack.
I love personal development and like to set myself challenges to see how far I can go. Previously, I have made the mistake of keeping these to myself and not writing them down anywhere. They have lived in my head. And we know how chaotic our minds can be. Time for a new approach.
I would like to become as light as a feather, and I would like you to come along with me on my journey.
What does this mean? When life throws a spanner in the works, I no longer want to automatically go into fight or flight mode. I want to break free from the physical and mental loads that continue to weigh me down. It’s exhausting. Instead, I want to create a calm and peaceful life for me and my family. I want to be a good role model for my daughter.
Following a health scare three years ago, I took up regular meditation. After many hours of practice, I learned to control my breathing and mind enough to float like a feather in the wind. It’s wonderful. You should try it, if you haven’t.
For me, this metaphor reflects the idea of being at peace and free to go with the flow. To be like a feather sailing along on the wind, unburdened – mentally and physically. To just be.
How will I achieve this? My current newsletters combine my personal experiences with information on real scenarios and topics that affect people who have had a transient cross-cultural upbringing. This next project will be more personal.
I need to learn ‘how to do the work’ to heal (and do it), as Dr Nicole LePera’s book of the same title advises. That is to take active steps to confront and to reconcile with my past, acknowledging what happened and finding ways to move forward.
Part of doing this is also to take a step up as a writer. With my Becoming a Feather series, I shall be moving to paid subscriptions. I aim to write 2-3 letters a month, alongside my current newsletter. I am aware that this could be an ‘oops’ project, but I won’t know until I give it a go.
My ‘Dear Reader’ letters will include deeply personal and painful subjects that might also be helpful for other people who have been through the same or similar. Topics will include grief, bereavement, childhood trauma and more. I shall also go through my Minimalism journey.
I’d also like to create a space for others who want to heal their past. This won’t be just for those who have a transient cross-cultural upbringing.
During this series, I would like to unearth positive, holistic solutions that I can use and share, having gone through the process myself. Healing is an individual journey, and it is important to find out what works for you. One of the hardest parts that I have found is just knowing where to go to discover those tools. That’s where Becoming a Feather comes in.
Why am I doing this? I now have a decade of this experience under my belt, and I’d like to help other people through my writing, like I have in-person. If this means being more vulnerable, then I’m ready.
I mentioned in What’s next for me and my writing? that I am at a crossroads in my life. Although I’ve always been an old soul, I’ve now hit middle age, I think. (I don’t know where the cut-off point is, but I am not young anymore.)
To put time into perspective, I saw someone on Instagram talking about how many summers you might have left. That’s a scary thought. I would like to use any time I do have meaningfully.
Time to step over the threshold. It’s now or never.
I hope that you have found this helpful and thank you for reading. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
Until next time,
Jenny